Okay, I will give tall people some credit. A lot of super models are tall and if you are a tall balding man (or woman) nobody can see your bald spot. I'm sure there must be one or two other advantages to being tall, but frankly, I just can't think of the right now.
Let's do this debate in a nice civilized manner to satisfy both sides of the argument. While arguing the tall person's side, I will pretend to be my outrageously tall sister while adding my rebuttal. Similarly, to fight for the short advantages, I will give my point of view with my sister as the "defense attorney".
Amanda: "There's no cabinet that I can't reach."
Rebuttal: Step stools add a nice touch of furniture to the kitchen and allow for easy reach without extending to the "tip-toes" or feeling around the tall shelves blindly while becoming entangled in a spider web.
Simple as that.
Amanda: Tall people don't have to ask for help at the grocery store to get food down from the top shelf. Independence!
Rebuttal: First of all, all the good stuff is at eye level for the average human, and second, what's wrong with asking for a little help? Allow someone to serve you. Heck, if there's nobody around, what's wrong with a little climbing adventure?
Amanda: It's all about basketball. People who play in the key get more points and more recognition.
Rebuttal: Of course they get more points! They're only 3 feet away from the basket! But who is the person that passes it to them? The short guard. We rule the game. Determining winning or loosing is all about the point guard. May I just ask one question? Does the crowd cheer louder with a silly lay up by the center or the three-pointer by the shooting guard? I rest my case.
Now for the real benefits. Now, I have to admit, I don't have much time to list the hundreds of reasons why, so we're just going to have to settle for a few just for now. Upon e-mail request, I can send a full list of short benefits.
Me: Short people can be comfortable anywhere. Air plane? Why need more comfort than sitting in coach? 12 hour car drive? Heck, I'll sit in the middle the whole way! Sleep on your friend's love seat? I'll only wake up to an alarm clock.
Defense attorney: No comment.
Just screams comfort to me!
Me: It's not very common that you see a short guy with a taller girl. The only exception is the lovely couple that my brother and sister in-law make. Therefore, short girls get all the guys: short or tall. I married now and am very happy with my choice because I had one.
Defense attorney: No comment.
Me: We, the short people of America, don't grow out of our clothes quickly. It saves money and allows us to buy quality clothes, not a large quantity of sizes. Just think all the money that we save from clothes shopping. That money can be used to donate to the poor. I guess tall people could donate to the poor to, but then they would all have to shave their legs everyday and have an awkward belly tan.
Defense attorney: No comment.
Can some say nerd?
I could go on for days. But just to not make every tall person in the world go to bed crying tonight, I'll stop there.
This is hilarious! By the way, I'm 5'10" not 5"11".
ReplyDeleteBut really, come on! Let's be honest, taller is much, much better and here's why:
-when we gain 10 pounds, no one notices
-as kids, we don't have to wait until we're really old to ride the big kids rides at
amusement parks
-how many times do you hear tips on how to look longer and leaner? Well, we don't even have to try.
-We don't always feel the need to teeter around on too tall heels.
-When we're pregnant, the baby has more room to swim around meaning more comfortable pregnancies
-we need more calories therefore get to eat way more food.
-who really wants to sit in the middle anyway? I much prefer the window.
Of course, the list goes on, and on, and on, but I've got better things to do right now.
Rebuttal:
ReplyDelete-You shouldn't be gaining weight! Plus, if you're gaining THAT much weight, it must mean that you are eating unhealthily and have a nasty case of acne.
-Little kids get scared of those rides anyway. It's not until we're teens that we want to ride on the amusement park rides. Plus, short people don't get kicked out of the McDonald's play play when they're a 5-foot 4-year-old.
-You win on the longer and leaning thing. But again, I did give you that point with the super models.
-High heals make any kankle look sexy.
-At least we look pregnant before we're eight months along!
-"A man shall not live by bread alone, but by the word of God" -Quoted by John who quoted Jesus.
-Sitting in the middle=getting to have two people to talk to. Sitting by the window means that you can only talk to one person.
Good try Amanda, but I need more ammo.
Nice try, nice try. The only thing I'm convinced of now is that you're very, very optimistic.
ReplyDelete