It's my brother.
No really; I think he really is the smartest person alive and here are just a few reasons why:
When my brother was in first or second grade, he came home and told my mom that he didn't like his teacher. Why? Because she wouldn't let him play the vocabulary game with the rest of the class because he would answer the question right before everyone else. I guess she didn't want the game to be all about Kevin.
He's the human google. I'm serious. And not just about a few select subjects, but about everything. We needed help the other day setting up our internet. Instead of reading directions, we just called Kevin and he knew how to do it step by step in great detail. See, human google. Investments? Call Kevin. You think you're sick? Call Kevin. What year did production of Captain Crunch start? Call Kevin. He knows it all.
Both my brother and I kinda play the violin. The first song I could play on the violin? Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (or the ABC song, you choose). Kevin's first song on the violin? Pachebel's Cannon in D Major. And I needed sheet music for my song...
My sister and I always make fun of my brother and how smart he is. Mostly because we are jealous. When my sister was a young toddler, she swallowed a bolt and was without oxygen for a while. To this day, we think Kevin secretly put it in her mouth so that she would lose major brain cells. Otherwise, she would be smarter than he. Definitely.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Thing People Love To Do, But Are Too Afraid To Admit It
I'm not afraid to admit things that I do that are gross or weird, but love to do. I've come up with a very short list, but I'm sure that YOU will side with me on every point that I hit.
This blog idea all started with one idea. Now, I am going to go into detail that might offend some people. (I know my mother will claim not to know me after this story) Okay, here's the story. I have been taking a lot of baths because that is what the doctor said all women that just gave birth need to do. Sitting, immersed in water, I love to pass a little gas. Now, I don't know where the pleasure comes from whether it's seeing the bubbles, feeling them massage my back as they come up, or just knowing that my bum bum will be totally clean before putting my undies back on, but it's enjoyable.
Now go take a bath. You will love it too.
Then there are other bodily functions that everyone loves. I mean, who doesn't love picking their nose? I even use to eat the little things when I picked them out. Now, using a tissue is high on my list, but I'll admit, I eat one every once and a while.
Popping zits! Another great past time. I even have found joy in popping my husband's zits. Thanks to my last mission companion, Morgan Tolman (currently Foutz), I even enjoy having other people pop my zits.
Then there are the facebook sins that nobody likes to admit. Now, I'm not just talking about facebook stalking. I think every single person with a facebook account is guilty of that. I'm talking about the real stuff nobody wants to admit. For example, looking up ex's. All of them- ex-crushes, ex-boyfriends, ex-best friends. You know, looking them up to see what they are up to to see if you are cooler than they are... Hmm... that sounds a little negative when I write it down. But when I am in the action of looking up an ex-friend to see if my child is cuter than theirs, it doesn't seem so bad.
How about the looking up people on facebook to see if you look better than they do? Again, that sounds so negative. But when I was feeling down on myself about the width of my butt when I was pregnant, I would just look on facebook to see if anyone had a quadruple chin or banana fingers to make me feel better about my appearance.
Wow, I sounds like a horrible person. I think I feel bad about admitting all that. That doesn't mean I'm going to delete what I already wrote. I'm just showing the true side of me. I hope I still have friends after this....
Now, if you have something that you love to do, but have never admitted it to anyone, shoot me a comment. I'm interested in what you have to say. Don't be afraid of sounding like a total witch after typing it. I'm sure it will trigger something horrible that I do to make you sound like less of an evil psychopath.
This blog idea all started with one idea. Now, I am going to go into detail that might offend some people. (I know my mother will claim not to know me after this story) Okay, here's the story. I have been taking a lot of baths because that is what the doctor said all women that just gave birth need to do. Sitting, immersed in water, I love to pass a little gas. Now, I don't know where the pleasure comes from whether it's seeing the bubbles, feeling them massage my back as they come up, or just knowing that my bum bum will be totally clean before putting my undies back on, but it's enjoyable.
Now go take a bath. You will love it too.
Then there are other bodily functions that everyone loves. I mean, who doesn't love picking their nose? I even use to eat the little things when I picked them out. Now, using a tissue is high on my list, but I'll admit, I eat one every once and a while.
Popping zits! Another great past time. I even have found joy in popping my husband's zits. Thanks to my last mission companion, Morgan Tolman (currently Foutz), I even enjoy having other people pop my zits.
Then there are the facebook sins that nobody likes to admit. Now, I'm not just talking about facebook stalking. I think every single person with a facebook account is guilty of that. I'm talking about the real stuff nobody wants to admit. For example, looking up ex's. All of them- ex-crushes, ex-boyfriends, ex-best friends. You know, looking them up to see what they are up to to see if you are cooler than they are... Hmm... that sounds a little negative when I write it down. But when I am in the action of looking up an ex-friend to see if my child is cuter than theirs, it doesn't seem so bad.
How about the looking up people on facebook to see if you look better than they do? Again, that sounds so negative. But when I was feeling down on myself about the width of my butt when I was pregnant, I would just look on facebook to see if anyone had a quadruple chin or banana fingers to make me feel better about my appearance.
Wow, I sounds like a horrible person. I think I feel bad about admitting all that. That doesn't mean I'm going to delete what I already wrote. I'm just showing the true side of me. I hope I still have friends after this....
Now, if you have something that you love to do, but have never admitted it to anyone, shoot me a comment. I'm interested in what you have to say. Don't be afraid of sounding like a total witch after typing it. I'm sure it will trigger something horrible that I do to make you sound like less of an evil psychopath.
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