Anger, Devastation, and Non-rational Thinking

I get really really upset at the stupidest things.  It really is a pregnancy thing.  Man, I hate this whole hormone thing.  Looking back at things that make me so mad just don't make sense anymore.  Why was I so angry?  Here's the latest example:

My husband is the Young Mens president in our ward.  For a fundraiser for scout camp, they are doing a Christmas tree pickup.  Now, when I was a youth, we did this same fundraiser and though I don't remember how much we made from it, I remember making bank.  I remember one year, I think the young women only had to pay like 10 bucks for girls camp because we raised enough money to pay for most of girls camp and scout camp for everyone.  It was neat.

So naturally, if it was successful for when I was a youth, we thought it would be pretty good to do here.  We don't have to raise a ton of money, but we thought it would be more lucrative than last years fundraiser (going around and begging for money).

John had to work this morning, so I told him I would handle the gathering discussion stuff.  All the young men were scheduled to meet at my house at 10 AM today to pass out fliers.  Not to go into too many details, but only 4 young men showed up from 2 different families.  We had to recruit more adults and even some sisters.  Out of the 11 people total that handed out fliers, 4 were young men, 1 primary kid, 4 adults, and 2 girls.  I was fine at first.  Then I started thinking about it....

An hour later, I was so mad that these young men didn't come to hand out fliers!  I was so mad I even called Morgan, an old mission buddy, also pregnant, to complain.  As I was saying it out loud, I realized how stupid I was for being so mad.  First of all, it is right before Christmas.  There was no other weekend to do it, but there probably was a really good reason why only 4 youth showed up.

See.  I'm crazy.

Then another thing that totally doesn't make sense: I can't have a child born in December.  My child is due Jan 4.  I asked the doc if he thinks she will stay in at least until Jan 1st because I can't have a kid born in December because I think they will be ugly, annoying, and not well behaved.  I still stand firm to that.  He laughed at me.  Luckily his birthday isn't in December.  Then I was thinking about everything that I know that was born in December and all I could think of was a good friend growing up: Michelle.  She is NOTHING like what I think my December-born child will be.  I just feel with Christmas, the child's birthday won't be special and she will be neglected.  It makes sense in my head, but the doc probably thought I was crazy.

Sorry for the boring ramblings.  This blogging thing is a way for me to vent to people who won't listen to me. Like I told my cotton-ball friend, it's like a wall that I need to talk to.