Friday, July 13, 2012

You Should Probably Go Home When...

I have a family.  I have a small child.  Even though I never know what day of the week it is, I'm a busy lady.  Well, I'm either busy or tired.  I'm sure many other mothers or fathers out there can understand.  Now, I have some friends who are the single type or don't have children who don't quite know when to go home.  When I was single, I wish someone gave me this list because I know I overstayed my welcome way too many times.  Here are some tips childless people:

1.  When the host keeps telling you a list of things that have to get done that day, leave.

2.  If your host's spouse falls asleep on the couch while you are still talking, just end the conversation there.

3.  It their child is screaming and the mom says, "okay, it's time to get ready for bed", that is also an invitation for you to leave.

4.  2 or more yawns means your boring.  Leave.

5.  Lulls in the conversation.

6.  Meaningless small talk.

7.  If it's 9:00 and you're still there, don't be surprised if you never get invited back.

8.  If the host is throwing up in the bathroom, why do you even want to stay any longer?

Dude, I have totally overstayed my welcome at many a people's places before I became a mother.  I'm sorry.  Now, childless people, listen to my advice and stop overstaying your welcome.  If only we were a more blunt people the the Chinese people, we could just tell people to leave without offending them.

No comments:

Post a Comment