The Self Esteem of Melinda

I felt the urge to blog today because I have a friend that updates her blog every day. Every time that I read her blog, I feel like I need to update mine. Of course, I asked my sister what I should blog about. She said that I should write about how I went from a shy little mouse to a bold (over) confident woman. Well, here I go.

I never ever talked to people when I was younger. I distinctly remember always hiding behind my mom when anyone came to talk to me. At home, I was loud. Some would even say annoying, but in public, it was a completely different story.

When I was a month away from my 6th birthday, I remember going to my friend Mackenzie's 6th birthday party. I was really excited and still to this day, I remember sitting in her living room thinking to myself, today, I am going to talk to people. And that's what I did. Not only did I talk, but I talked A LOT. Well, a lot for me.

Little did I know, Mackenzie, the birthday girl, was just as shocked of my talking as I was. Years later, her mother said that that birthday party, Mackenzie ran up to her mother and said, "Mom! She talks!"

I would like to say that that was the day that changed my social life forever, but after that party, I reverted back to my shy ways.

Then I think in Junior High School, it all changed. I don't remember a certain time that I decided I was going to be outgoing or a certain situation that opened my eyes to the world of talking to people, but Jr High was different. I'm not going to lie. Even ask anyone that knew me at the time. I was ANNOYING! Drama was the vocab word of the year and everything in my life centered around drama.

It's similar to most Junior High School students these days. I think walking into a Jr High, most of the kids are loud and annoying just like I was. That's the time to change. A new school, new people, and teachers. I worked at a Jr High for several years after I graduated High School and I could tell which students use to be shy, but were trying to shed that image. Unfortunately those who were born shy (me) turned annoying instead of those who were just naturally outgoing and friendly.

Luckily that changed.

Maybe it didn't change that much. For some reason now, I feel like I have to be the center of attention constantly. Not with new groups of people, but with my friends. It's a natural thing now. I don't try to be. I just always have something to say or an opinion about something and for some reason, I think every cares what I have to say.

It's all about self esteem. I wasn't exactly high on the "hot or not" list when I was younger or a teen. I wouldn't say I had bad self esteem, but it's not like I thought I was "God's gift to men" or anything. When I started looking in the mirror and started quoting Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live, I became more outgoing. Just say it with me now:

"I'm good enough; I'm smart enough, and dog-gone-it, people like me." <-- click on it to say it along with Stuart.

So now, I am overly confident and not nearly as shy as I was as a child. And that's my life story. Hopefully my children won't turn out like me, but if they do, I will show them youtube clips of my dear friend, Stuart Smalley.